None of us see the world as it is, we see the world the way we are. We all operate from different experiences, values, cultural norms, etc., that affect how we treat each other. When I walked into a room and a patient or family member would start to complain, I use to feel as if I was a bad nurse and become defensive. I now recognize that complaints are actually requests in disguise–when patients or families are complaining they are operating from a place of pain and are providing valuable information on how I can help them. When I feel my defensive side rise up, I’ve learned to take myself out of the equation by saying to myself, “It’s just information.” Then I am able to focus on what they are telling me instead of my feelings.

Perhaps the greater challenge is dealing with the criticism of fellow employees. Though we all know in theory that feedback is valuable information that can help us become better at our job, it doesn’t change the fact that it is hard to take. Criticism is not about whether you are a good nurse; it is actually information on how an individuals is experiencing the world around them. Their experience of you is a mix of your behavior and how they are interpreting your behavior.

We all know people for whom nothing we do is good enough. These people operate from a world of black and white, in which everything has to be perfect. Because perfection is an illusion, they suffer constant dissatisfaction with themselves and those around them. Does that mean we ignore them? Of course not. Their input is still valuable; however, if you can take yourself out of the equation, you can then weigh their input based on its own merit rather than on how it makes you feel.

Developing these buffers keeps others people’s stress from rubbing off on you. What buffers have you developed to survive the stressful environment of a hospital?