I’m sure I’m not the only one who has those few nurses that are complete flirts with the doctors. They call them by their first names, touch them, and even sometimes go out with them outside of work. Sometimes it can make me very uncomfortable because I see my relationship with the doctors as strictly professional.
Not that long ago, I overheard a doctor asking about me and whether or not I was married. I found that completely inappropriate. I don’t know if I’m just overreacting, but I don’t think this is something that should be going on at work; our main priority is patients. I don’t want to have a bad relationship with the doctors (obviously I work with these people everyday), but where does the line have to be drawn?
Who’s responsibility is it to keep the nurses and doctors “in line”? Let me know any of your experiences or your thoughts on the situation …
December 1st, 2008 at 9:59 pm
As a nurse of 20 years, its usually not really romantic. You will find as time passes that nurses and doctors now work as peers in an effort to give full patient care. They use first names and some are touchy feely. Sometimes this is banter activity to ease the close relationship that exists in the hospital between the two professions, but generally, in 20 years I’ve only seen a handful of drs and nurses that actually crossed the line. And those were single people getting together. When you work with someone on a continual basis, they like to know about you so the dr can see if he can trust you to walk the gray line that comes with the job.
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:28 am
Please! This is what is wrong w/ the nsg profession. Don’t you think that engineers, lawyers, etc have relationships w/the people they work with? Of course they do. My wife and I met at work. Women in nsg need to get over this “thing” that “I’m a professional, look how many degrees I have”,etc trying to prove themselves.
Here’s a hint. Do your job, do it right, and excel in it and people will respect you, regardless of what you have behind your name. And stop whining if someone hits on you. Most intimate relationships, regardless of where they start, are started by someone asking someone else “hey, you think she/he would go out w/ me? Or what do you know about so and so?
December 2nd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I have a very close working relationships with the doctors in the ICU where I work, and have worked for the last 20 years. Yes, some nurses do call the docs by their first names but that is because the docs have asked us to. I personally still call them “Dr.” so-and-so. I do socialize on the outside with a few who have become friends over the years, and we manage to keep it very professional at work. There is inappropriate behavior in the workplace in all professions. If you experience inappropriate behavior where you work I am sure you have procedures to follow to take care of it. Nurses and doctors can have personal relationships that don’t include sex as it is portrayed on tv!
December 14th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
If it were like TV, it woudl just be crazy. It goes on everywhere but Hoolywood sensationalizes everything. I am sure what Rosanne described is pretty typical as itr reflects what happens whenever people work together in a professional or non-=professionla environment.
January 18th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
This is old school: All nurses should be women and all doctors men. The nurses must wear heals and dresses at all time, on and off duty…they are nurses and professional every moment of the day. Always give up your seat for a doctor and if he comes on to you, you do what you need to do to make him happy, or you stand loosing your job. Truth be told, many a doctor had their way with some of my fellow nurses decades ago, both on and off the floor/unit, with or without genuine consent. Times have changed and now we are in charge of many hospitals after doctors gave up their seat of power.
February 13th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I think that the fact you are uncomfortable with the type of relations comes from inexperience in the hospital, from what I can gather. It’s hard to say exact situations that you’re referring to or to what degree someone was ‘to the line’ but when I introduce myself to someone and they reply with their first name– I call them that one to one, but around other professionals with patient care involved, mostly Dr. _____. You have to learn what is appropriate for each situation, its not cut and dry. Some prefer to be called by a certain name. I’m not sure if you have ever worked in charge yet (I was as soon as I changed from Grad Nurse to RN) and this has changed my view on doctor/nurse relationships. Usually the more the doctor knows about you, the more they trust you and realize you are a person. They are less likely to talk rudely and shuffle off your concerns as well.
Personally, I ask doctors if they are married or have children, or where they studied school as first questions to break the ice. Its ok to be professional, most of us try to be at all times, but we can still be human at the same time. Humans joke, make mistakes, laugh, cry… that doesn’t make us less professional in my eye. We still get the job done, and I can come out smiling and less stressed out. When a doctor calls me by my first name, I feel good about myself because they REMEMBERED it.
One question: do you find talking to nurses about their personal lives is unprofessional? I think its equal playing field these days. …And as another lady said, we don’t have to pull out chairs for doctors anymore, so we have to treat and think of everyone the same. Treat them as you want to be treated. If you’re paranoid/worried, people will sense that and it comes off as untrustworthy. I’ll stop my ramble now. Good-day!
February 13th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
…OH about flirting…
I think inappropriate behaviour IN FRONT OF PATIENTS is always inappropriate. Flirting, having a discussion about errors, discussing rude behaviour on either side, etc. has a time and place and should be done away from patient/family ears, and depending on the content of what is spoken with schmoozing the other– maybe away from staff as well. Shouldn’t common decency kick in? Everyone harmlessly flirts, or puts play on words every now and then too. Its human to get goofy.
I’m not one to take personal phone calls while on the clock– I’m being paid to work, so that’s what I should be doing, but not everyone feels that way
April 11th, 2009 at 4:30 am
hi! i’m a fresh-graduate of bachelor of science in nursing. when i was a student having my clinical exposure, i assisted a surgeon while he did incission & drainage at the ER. while he was making the incission and i sponged, he asked me to explain the pathophysiology of dengue, as his colleague’s patient was diagnosed with dengue shock syndrome. thinking this was a chance to impress the other nursing students from other schools, i discussed the disease process in details. impressed, he smiled and said: WHAT SCHOOL ARE YOU FROM? i told him where i was studying. then he continued: WHAT YEAR ARE YOU IN? i said i was in fourth year. then he asked: SO HOW OLD ARE YOU? and i said 20. then out of the blue he asked: DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
being a bit uneasy because the patient, the patient’s relative, the clinical instructors and the other students suddenly looked at me, i said: NO. I WANT TO BE A NUN!
with that, everybody laughed including the doctor. the uneasiness lifted, we went on saving lives.
i learned that he is the jolly-type doctor and he is also very kind to his patients. i assisted him again in the OR and he said: DON’T GET FREAKED OUT. IT’S JUST SURGERY. JUST HAND ME THE INSTRUMENTS CORRECTLY. and so, i realized that i shouldn’t feel uneasy around him. he’s just kind. one just has to understand that this kindness must not be interpreted as a move to hit on you. one just also has to handle the ‘do-you-have-a-boyfriend’ question correctly.
that doctor now calls me ‘SISTER’ and sometimes ‘MOTHER’. i don’t misinterpret his kindness. instead, i am thankful that i work with a kind physician — not one who thinks he is god ’cause he’s a doctor.
July 28th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Be careful if you flirt and date the docs. Here at our religious based facility there have been several nurses mysteriously departing after “after hours” meetings with married doctors here. And those married doctors….they are still here and still flirting.
July 12th, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Crossing the line isn’t all bad! I’m a nurse in L.A. and have been working in a prestigious internal medicine office for 3 years. I’ve been having an affair with the doctor for the last 2 years. I know it sounds crazy - I never thought I could do something like this and now I’m in too deep. I’ve known all along he wouldn’t leave his wife and kids but for some reason I let it go on and on the entire time we worked together. The best part was getting away with looks, touches, kisses, etc at work. It all fell apart about a month ago so my heart is broken and have to find new job.